Why I Don't Buy the "Energy" Definition for Introverts / Extroverts

Mar 07, 2022
Sales for Introverts Website
Why I Don't Buy the "Energy" Definition for Introverts / Extroverts

Sales for Introverts Podcast Episode 8 Transcript

  [Note: Please excuse any typo’s, punctuation, or odd wording as the software occasionally transcribes it incorrectly.  If in doubt, listen to the episode!]


  📍 What is going on, everybody. That's right. Sales for introverts podcast is back episode eight. That's what I'm talking about. You guys are still checking it out. I'm excited for you. Got something interesting here to talk about today. Ask anybody, define introvert, define extrovert,  


And you know what everybody's going to say. 10 out of 10, people are going to talk about how it's, where you get your energy from. Introverts get their energy from. Not people and extroverts get their energy from people more or less.


I'll explain it here in just a minute from this video, grab that we're going to talk about, but. Why does everybody think that it's so simple? Why does everybody think that that's the only way to define it? Well, I'm going to make an argument here in just a minute. That I think it's only a piece. Only a small, well, maybe.


A reasonable component. Of what an introvert really is and what an extrovert really is. So we are going to dive right into that here in just a second. But I did want to welcome everybody back to the podcast. I hope you're all doing well. I hope you have seen, as I mentioned on our previous main podcast that we're just trying to follow in a natural progression of if you've been listening since episode one, a natural progression of.


Understanding. What it means to be introverted in the sales space or even just the business space in general. I really hope that E type of business person benefits from the conversations that we're having. Because. Introvert, you kind of have to start putting yourself out there. I'm sorry. When you're in the business world.


You know, that's the bad news, but the good news is, is that you can do it your way. You can do it ways that you're comfortable with. And then ways that you can gradually gain some confidence in. So that's what I do again, my name is mark. And I run sales for introverts.com. But that's enough of the commercial for now let's dive into what all is going on with this video okay so here you go


So I got a controversial take for you here today. Do a quick online search for the definition of introverts or extroverts. You'll probably find a bunch of articles or think pieces centered around the idea. Yeah. Oh, it's all you get your energy from. Well, introverts get their energy from internal sources and alone time and so on.


And extroverts get their energy from being around others or interacting. Or stuff like that. And then the next definition, energy and the next site energy, it always seems to revolve around energy recharging. Well, for years, it's bothered me as people just keep talking about energy and I couldn't relate, something seemed to off.


And it wasn't until I started to study my own introversion that I realized that that definition is only partly acting. In fact, it sounds to me like the person who came up with that definition and those who keep it popular are actually extroverts. So what if I don't want to feel energetic? What if energy is not the main focus of my activities, maybe it's being restful or seeking comfort, maybe getting to do introverted activities just makes me happy or helps my overall wellbeing.


For example, let's say on a Sunday afternoon, I just want to relax. I've been looking forward all week for this time to go watch this movie I've been wanting to watch or something like that, you know, with no interruptions. And at the end of this time, I don't spring off of the couch. Ready to go take on the world mutually.


If the movie was decent enough, I feel, I don't know, satisfied for me. Everything. That's good and nurturing to my introverted side. Doesn't always bring me energy or make me feel energized. Right. I do think they make me feel better. Sure. Relaxed, focused, cathartic. Okay. Well, that's great too, but energized sometimes, I guess, but that isn't always my primary goal.


Sometimes I just need to shut down parts of my life temporarily, just so I can recollect myself. It's like the brain while we sleep it repairs itself. It's, it's the same thing as maintenance. Well, how cool is that? Well, that's where I go and what I do when I introvert. And as I explain more, my sales course for introverts, whichever way you lean on the personality scale is more about preference.


Not where you get your energy from. You prefer to do social events this way. I prefer to do them that way. You prefer to make sales calls this way. I do them that way. Understanding that basic concept is a great first step to getting on the right track as not only a person in a sales role, but in any of your personal relationships.

All right, so there you have it. What do you think? I mean, am I right? Am I wrong? I don't know. I mean, I'm not trying to reinvent the wheel here, but. Not everybody studies this stuff every day and I feel like they should, at least once in their lives, try to figure out if you think you are introverted and then do some research on it.


I assume you'll probably see a video online about a book that I read called introvert power by Dr. Laurie . And it was. Really nice to just get her perspective on, Hey, it's okay to be this way. It's okay to feel these things. Not like we need special treatment or anything, but it's good to just do research.


About you no matter what kind of personality type you have, some people are just okay, being fine and whatever, and don't care, and don't want to draw attention to themselves, but. It's good for you, especially as you, as you become later on in adulthood to really investigate. What, what you are, if you're introverted or extroverted and see what makes you tick.


Might not be the most important reading you ever do in the light in your life, but. It might be. So. Anyways. Yeah, so I think I think it's not just about energy. And one of the things I said in the video was. What if I'm not looking to feel energetic. Maybe I'm just trying to feel something else.


And some of the words that I use for is like satisfied or relaxed or focus. Maybe I'm trying to feel dialed in. Maybe I'm trying to feel loved. I don't know didn't mean to go that deep there, but I'm sure that that's played a part somewhere in my life. But anyways, And then I gave an illustration of, it's kind of like our brains when we sleep. It's it's like that introvert time helps you.


Recollect yourself and it helps you repair yourself so that when you do go back out into the big, bad world your. You're a little galvanized you're you're built up again. You're replenished. And oh, I mean, yeah. Are you in a more energetic? Yeah. But I'm not sure that replenished and energetic are necessarily the same thing.


Maybe slightly different and maybe I'm just leaning into it a little bit too much. But the kicker is, is that it's not about. Energy so much as it is for preference for me. I was like, these are the things that I prefer to do.


I prefer to. Have a small group of friends over and maybe my wife wants to go out dancing on the town, you know? That actually rarely ever happens. Even though she says she's an extrovert, she actually enjoys the more intimate. Smaller group gatherings as well. Now we, the funny thing is though that we carry ourselves a lot different.


In those situations. So say we're, I'm sitting here looking out in my hallway towards the dining room that we rarely use and say, we have a group of six friends over for a dinner party or something, which we don't do so much anymore because we got little kids, but we used to. And you know, she.


I think likes to be more of the life of the party she likes to, to entertain. She likes to talk and have rich conversations as I do. I to have conversations too. I don't necessarily like to talk as much, but But in that situation, I might. You know, wait for an opportunity to talk. I might wait for an opportunity to crack a joke.


Or to do something funny. I will probably not carry the conversation as much as other people do. And yet. We still have a good time and everybody has a good time. Hopefully, if not, they can just not come back.  But it's just funny to see that while it's the same event and while she's extroverted, I'm introverted.


We still. Can. Can enjoy it and let it be entertaining. And we both prefer. For that to happen. Now I know there are people that love to go out on the town and go dancing and stuff like that. And that I can absolutely unequivocally say no, thank you. Not interested. Eh, you go have fun. And I will be across the street at the coffee shop or something avoiding that, like the plague.


Or avoiding that, like the COVID pandemic, you know And it's funny because in any sort of event like that, or like a festival. You know, I, I might be interested in doing something like that. If it was really specifically something that I wanted to do. So if you have this really honed in particular again, preference.


If you have a really honed in particular musical. Festival that's going on that I'm interested in that I'm like, yeah, I'll be there. But if it's just as general thing where you've got just a bunch of popular musicians out there, then I'm going to pass, you know, it's not for me. I'll go out fishing or something instead. So.


Anyways preference. That's what I think it's more about. And I do touch on this a pretty good bit in the course, actually. A little bit deeper. So if you want to check that out, that's at sales for introverts.com. That is where I've got my online course and where. We originate all of our material from so.


I think that's probably going to wrap it up for today. Enjoy talking to you about this. It's sorta controversial. I don't know. I'd love for a psychologist to come on here and just slam me down and be like, dude, you're an idiot. You know, clearly we're all talking about the same thing. We're all talking about energy and that's just what it is.


But I ha that hasn't happened yet. And I am waiting for that opportunity. Come on and slam me down if you want to, or let's have a conversation about it. You can find us on YouTube, Facebook, or you can email me directly, mark. At sales for introverts.com. And if you do. We open up a conversation.


Then let's talk about it. It might come back up on the podcast. So.  📍 Once again, thanks so much for listening, being a part of this show. Got more stuff coming out soon. So just can't wait for that. So enjoy hearing from all you guys too. Love to get emails from you. So please go ahead and do so if you are so inclined.


Otherwise, we're going to wrap it up today. Thanks for listening to the podcast and we will see you on the next episode

If you're an introvert in the sales world, you'll want to check out my free Introvert Kickstart.  It's time to reframe your whole career!

Get Started Now >